In my dream I am in my mother’s house which seems to really be our farm house. One brother and my parents are there. We have a meal of of watery broth with old unskinned potatoes with long, tangled sprouts and what looks like prunes or plums in it The house is very messy, dirty and chaotic. An unknown man, his wife, and child come to rent the house. The child and Rachel or some other child spill milk all over and throw it around I don’t notice. I go to the sink where the lady is getting a drink. She rinses the cup and throws the water on the floor and laughs. I yell at the children to come. I berate them and then go back to the table where I notice a pile of dirty old boots under a cupboard. I grab Rachel, shouting at her to clean up the mess. I twist her arm and sit on her. She yells back “NO!” The man comes by from somewhere and says, “We can have it.” “My brother made a phone call and we can have it.” I say “You will be very lonely here”. My Mom tells the woman she will stay with her for a couple days until she is used to it. I insist, “Others have been lonely but they got used to it.”
The dream ends.
Dreams are not literal. I cannot emphasize that point enough. The context of dreams is equally in need of emphasis. In the fall of 1989 I am in an intense, existential struggle between old beliefs (learned from parents and held strongly by brother) and my emerging beliefs. For those who have no understanding of the power of the personal unconscious as well as the collective unconscious, this may be problematic. In 1989, my reading was focused on the work of Jungian psychoanalysts, spiritual writers who used the theories of Jung in the interpretation of dreams and spiritual writers focused on the Catholic mystics. Dreams and Symbols of Transformation comes to mind as I write this blog February 2, 2015, some 26 years later! My psyche has shifted, been transformed at all levels of emotional, spiritual, mental and physical beingness. I credit dream work. Reading some of the work from 1989, it seems that I am very naive, seeking, a raw beginner! I believe however that life is a process and will continue until I die.
House. In my dream my inner world is made up of my parents’ home and my own. In this dream I am firmly in neither but both at the same time. I do not see Dad but sense his presence. Mom is there and may well represent the nourishing aspect of the Great Mother, the one who nourishes. I am unsure if that is the symbolism or my parents and brother represent related belief systems. The kitchen of my house is in turmoil. Kitchens are symbolic of transformation. We nourish our families, friends and selves. We change raw vegetables into cooked. We mix, sort, sift, bake, broil and cook. Bread rises with yeast. I am filled with the childhood memories. Mom was an excellent cook. Pioneer women in northern Alberta were wonderfully skilled at baking, cooking, gardening, sewing, mending, knitting, and so many household skills.
My inner world is a chaotic mess. Such inner chaos requires a good deal of energy to continue to function in the outer world. The dream tells me that I am still struggling and irritated with the new ideas I am working with on the spiritual, emotional plane. I am beating up on myself, trying hard to sit on “new ideas, change and young ideas” I have. I have several children in my dream both known to me, Rachel, and strange children. Children are indicative of naivete, changing world filled with enthusiasm. My daughter symbolizes growing and changing. This inner young feminine aspect is refusing to be held back. The strangers to me, more feminine youthful aspect wanting to participate.
Milk is a fascinating symbol. Coming to me from the Cow Goddess. The milk of human kindness. The Milky Way. Being thrown around, not recognized as nourishment to me. I will find out much more about milk as symbol when I work with dreams in the future!
I think I might claim this as an archetypal dream, that is “mythic”, “great”, “grand” as it occurred at a significant time in my life. I feel as though I have learned a good deal from this dream and that it has much more to teach me. It surely has an element of impossibility, is extremely vivid and comes often to mind after 25 years!
I am just learning about the power of the unconscious. There is much more to come.